Wednesday, April 23, 2008

time to break the silence

Which significant event should I start with?  The birth of baby Ada, the exciting move back home to Istanbul, the end of an era so far away now, the corporate life that died as I know it, the love that grows inside me everyday that is like no other, and how one learns to look forward to sleepless nights, just so she can see another glimpse of the prettiest face in the universe...  Now, I am a mother.  My life will never, ever, be the same, and yet I wonder everyday how I lived 30 years in vain without her.

No words are enough to describe the way I feel.  Only moms can relate to me, my virtual friends, and I hope deep in my heart that everyone can experience this wonderful feeling when the time is right...

We are now back home. Back in Istanbul, with family, where apartments are HUGE, where help is always present, where someone irons your shirts, and scrubs your floors everyday. Breakfasts are served with freshly brewed tea, and life allows you to be engaged in your baby.  Wondrous how I have taken things over from where I left them off 5 years ago - as if this was a life I have been living in parallel to the one in New York - a life of many of struggles and challenges, as well as excitements and frustrations.  

I feel more at home now, my current system in here allows me to spend time only with Ada, and not worry about so many of the chores I had to do in New York.  I feel so lucky I have this ecosystem surrounding me.  At this point in my life, this is exactly what I need.

I will be in touch, from another part of the world, with my other self, with stories and babbles of my baby girl :)

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