Wednesday, April 26, 2006

dancing your heart out

Ensaio III / Danse III, originally uploaded by Carolina Arantes.

One of my fondest and clearest memories of my husband resides back in 1997.

On a crisp, cold week night at a time usually reserved for sleep or getting ready for finals, we decided to sneak out to our most favorite bar/club/hangout/dance floor of all times - the renowned and dearly missed Roxy. I distinctly remember going out in my sweats and sneakers (something usually unheard of me at age 20), and that it was an 80's night. Being a kid back then makes you remember how badly you aspired to not be a kid then, and the most significant flashback obviously comes through its "music". Rebellious, fashion-backward, agressive but hearty songs of an era so well defined by its distinctive culture that is almost universal in each society that embraced it.

That night was a night I danced my heart out. I jumped up and down so many times that I had blisters in my soles for a week. I laughed so hard that my cheeks hurt when talking the next morning. I had so much fun spinning and dancing in the arms of my then boyfriend that I fell soo deeply in love...To this day and rolling, it's been one of the most thrilling moments of my life.

Him? A cracked front tooth from a beer bottle accident, a newly discovered talent for spin dancing, a much raised spirit and a loving wife for life. What more could one ask for?

Friday, April 14, 2006


Diversity, originally uploaded by latesa.

Every time I take the train back from work, I am startled by the expression-less and saddened faces of anonymous, tired people. There's always the same gazed-out look in their eyes, while the all too familiar "fed up with life" aura surrounds the subway cars.

I've always felt for these people on the train. I try and send them good thoughts to ease whatever it may be that they're dealing with - it's a game I play when I'm on my own - especially when I stand up in front of them, waiting anxiously for a seat to free up, and can't help but stare directly at their faces. I feel totally invisible until someone catches my eye: My own reflection in the glass.

I look old, I look tired, and I look sad. I have bags under my eyes and obvious wrinkles. The image gets distorted as the car moves faster, squeaking, screeching loudly, crying for help.

It feels like I haven't really seen myself in a long long time.

Now is the time to send myself some good thoughts. I have the power to put a smile on my own face. It's time I realize this and act on it.

Thank God spring is finally here to give me a nudge.